Identity & Willingness
There are many factors that make up a person’s identity. Inherent aspects of a person, such as race, disability, sexuality, neurodiversity, etc., change how a person interfaces with the world as well as how the world interfaces with them. This can be difficult to process, as these things cannot be changed but obviously affect a person greatly. Willingness, a concept in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can be helpful in working with these feelings. While being treated with discrimination should not be tolerated, accepting yourself for who you are, honoring all parts of yourself, and allowing both positive and negative emotions can help with deeper understanding of one’s identity. Think about these questions:
- If you had to describe yourself to someone else, what would be the most important things for them to know?
- What’s something you did recently that made you feel proud of yourself?
- Do you find it difficult to use positive language for yourself?
Identity & Values
Within ACT, there is also stress placed upon being aware of and working toward your values. Knowing what you personally value helps you be more aware of yourself, such as why you make certain choices. Values are often impacted by the values of those around you, whether it be your family, your culture of origin, or the expectations placed on you by society. Part of one’s identity is what you believe to be important, which can mean reflecting on whether the values instilled in you by others are congruent with what you truly want to prioritize. Perhaps your family expects career or financial success, but you are much more passionate about making change in your community. Moving towards your passion will be more in line with who you are as a person than trying to appease others and can reduce tension within yourself, even if it means setting some boundaries with others. You can find a Self-Guided Values Sort here to help you begin exploring what you personally value.
Identity & Safety
Trauma is another factor that can impact one’s sense of identity as a person. When looking at Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, physiological needs and safety are prioritized above other needs like self-actualization. Being in a physically or emotionally unsafe situation or having had adverse experiences can impact your ability to develop a sense of self. Once those needs are met, it becomes much easier to self-reflect as your energy is no longer being dedicated to trying to keep yourself safe. A commonly used art therapy directive for this is the Safe Place drawing, where you are asked to draw a representation of the place you feel safest, real or imaginary. Identifying your place of safety can help with feeling secure enough to explore your self-concept.
Identity & Community
Finding community can also help with the understanding of one’s own identity, as engaging with others’ journeys to self-discovery can be both inspiring and provide some personal insight. When it comes down to it, people are a culmination of their experiences, and identity is something that is allowed to change with time. If you were different in the past, and change in the future, that doesn’t mean that the person you are now is “wrong”. It just means you are growing.
Eden Pelkey, LCAT is licensed in New York State as a creative arts therapist. They have a MS in creative arts therapy from Nazareth College and have been practicing art-based psychotherapy since 2022. They currently see clients at Spotted Rabbit’s Pittsford, NY studio.
Pelkey specializes in LGBTQIA+ issues, neurodivergence, chronic illness/pain, and complex trauma. They work with clients age teen through adult.